Someone once asked me, “weren’t you afraid to try again after two miscarriages.” I wrote this blog for you; it’s time to chase your dreams.
Yes, I was afraid. Flashbacks horrified me, and the enemy tormented me with fear of the past. The dream however that God placed in me to be a mother, didn’t die. Your dreams will not die. You see whether we pursue our dreams or not, it doesn’t change our purpose. Our spirits will always yearn to walk in our God-given purpose.
Deep down inside I knew I was destined to be a Mother. I could feel it in my soul. Despite the trauma and heartbreak of holding two lifeless babies in my hands. I knew one day I would hold a healthy baby in my arms. I knew because the word of God told me so.
The enemy’s assignment is to instill so much fear and doubt in us, that we are too afraid to pursue our purpose. It’s time to call his bluff and chase our dreams! Being a mother wasn’t my only dream. I dreamed of being a wife, a college graduate, a business owner, a minister who reaches millions of people. Oh, Hunny I have dreams. I know you do too.
Now is the time to tell the enemy that he can take his fear, and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine! I say this because we were not given a spirit of fear. We were given a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7) Fear comes when we believe the lies of the enemy. Faith, however, comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. (Romans 10:17).
For those who may have gotten lost on that last scripture, allow me to explain. The Word of God helps us to understand what the Lord is saying so that we “hear” him. By hearing the Word of God which is filled with promises and testimony of God’s might we are given faith to fight fear.
As I carried Elisha my son in my stomach, there were many days that I wondered would this be our last day together. On those days, I recalled my friend’s voice who also battled a difficult pregnancy. She explained to me one day over lunch “I don’t know if my baby is going to make it, but I thank God for each day I am able to carry her in my womb.” And that is what I did. I thanked God each day he allowed me to carry Elisha. I wrote scriptures on each milestone, and prophesied using the word of God that my son would most certainly not die, but live to declare the works of the Lord.
When storms from hell came rising against us, I stood firm on God’s promises and fought fear with the Word of God that is never failing. One of my favorite scriptures was “he is faithful to complete the work he has begun in me.”
At my 16- week doctor visit, I was informed that I needed to go to the hospital urgently to get a cerclage (a stitch used to hold your cervix together). I was familiar with this procedure as I had it done with my daughter Claire, who died in a miscarriage. So, you may understand why I reluctantly asked my Doctor “what if I don’t do it.” Her answer, “if you don’t, you will miscarry this baby,”
At that moment I asked God why! “Why are you allowing this to happen?” Why am I still fighting this same battle?” “You promised me!” As I sobbed in pain and agony of reliving my greatest fears, it was a friend who laughed at me and said: “go to the hospital and do what she says, everything is fine you don’t need to worry.” I will be honest in that moment I was angry with her for not panicking with me. But I shut up, got in the car and worshiped all the way to the hospital.
The next morning as I was being wheeled into the operating room, the song Intentional by Travis Greene came on my Pandora app. He sang “Through the hurt and the pain, I know it’s working for my good… I don’t have to worry, cause it’s working for me…He’s intentional, He’s never failing.” As I heard those words, I knew God was with me and we were going to make it.
After the surgery, I was informed that I had already began dilating and the bag (amniotic sac) carrying Elisha was bulging. With God’s grace, my Doctor was able to push the bag back in and secure a tight stitch (cerclage). Believe me when I say God is always on time.
I met Elisha March 1, 2016 and not a second too soon. For the first time in my life, I held a warm baby filled with life. My sister blew the shofar and I believe beyond a shadow of doubt that every devil in hell that stood against me was defeated at that moment. For the God who is with me, nothing can withstand.
I’m not done believing. For the Lord has plans for me…to prosper me and not harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) I don’t know where you feel defeated. I don’t know what the devil has convinced you will never happen for you. What I do know is that if you stand on the Word of God putting your faith in him, there is no devil in hell that can stop you.
I pray as you read the Word of God, he gives you ears to hear his voice. And may his voice silence every lie of the enemy. Walk-in your purpose love, victory is yours!
“I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he rescued me from everything I feared.”
(Psalm 34:5 CJB)
To the Mom dealing with anxiety, I know there are many days you may feel alone, and hopeless but that doesn’t mean you are. I want to share with you an encounter I had with our loving Father when I too felt alone, hopeless, and like giving up. I know what our God so graciously…Read More